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MHart's watch

Jammin'

Uploaded by

MHart

Views 689
Date & Time 6 February 2012, 8:02 pm

About this video

Follow Crashtastic through the Roller Derby All Star tryouts.

Tags: Video Storytelling II | Roller Derby | roller skating | sports | tryouts | skate

About the Uploader
I try not to watch too much TV and avoid video games. I'd rather be making my own stories, the rest of the world is welcome to watch. I look forward to.. More »
I try not to watch too much TV and avoid video games. I'd rather be making my own stories, the rest of the world is welcome to watch. I look forward to meeting all of you and am excited about being involved in this wonderful community! Less »


NYVS Critique

lisa Mar 25, 2012, 12:07pm Helpful Not Helpful

You have a nice story here Matthew and lots of good visuals. In terms of feedback first you need an establishing wide shot early in the video so the viewer can see where this is taking place. Second, when you edit you need to take the cuts the second your subject leaves frame and some shots you hang on for too long after the subject has skated out of the frame. In terms of storytelling you set the story up well and you have a good arc of story that will make viewers want to see whether she makes the tryout. A sequence of Holly skating with music or a digital clock running as she tries to complete the 25 laps in time would help build the tension and story arc.

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