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abram's watch

The Knife Man - makes a knife for President George W Bush

Uploaded by

abram

Views 1,590

Date & Time 31 December 2011, 11:47 am

About this video

Ian Vanreenen makes handmade knives including one out of dog bone. This is my first attempt at making a short documentary style film, I enjoyed making it, I hope you enjoy watching it. FEED BACK IS WELCOME

Tags: dog bone | knife | the knife man | president george w bush

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NYVS Critique

lisa Jan 22, 2012, 04:01pm 1 :

You have a really good story here Abram but you make two of the most common mistakes; first you try to make the character tell the story and that's not his job, that's your job and if you want to make documentary films then you need a narrative. If you don't like using your own voice then have someone else do the voice-over for you. Secondly the ratio of talking head to b-roll is backwards. You need to shoot much more b-roll, lots of sequences of the knives being made using Michael's 5-Shot technique and have fewer soundbites. This is a very visual story but you haven't shown me the visuals.

Comments

1 2

abram
7:42 pm Tuesday
Jan 24, 2012

Thank You Lisa, you are right, he wants me to shoot another one and I will try to make it with your points in mind.

abram
9:07 pm Thursday
Jan 12, 2012

aviv1057, I agree with you on the audio, tell me what specifically you think about the audio. I'm curious if we are thinking the same thing.

aviv1057
8:25 pm Sunday
Jan 8, 2012

I like the story, audio could use improvement. But over all, I like it.

abram
9:03 am Saturday
Jan 7, 2012

djgregallen, Great advice! I can see that if I would have done a full, medium and closeup it would have made it much more professional looking. I decided to post my videos even if I know they are lacking so I can get great ideas like this. Thanks for your help. AsuaLightlc, Thank You

abram
8:56 am Saturday
Jan 7, 2012

Martell, You are absolutely correct, I did not get enough good shots to put this together so I resorted to using shaky footage and the first thing I thought when I seen the footage on computer was the lighting was bad, but I wanted to put it on here to get honest feedback and to force me to get better. Thanks for your advice.

1 2